some day when we are older
i might regret my actions or the way that i have lived my life
but i will look back
and there will be some memories that i will smile
and i shall remember that despite all the tears and all the fears
i lived. i laughed. and you made me smile.

you might think it impossible
that the pain is simply just too choking
that the huge gap left is simply just too impossible to fill
the loss to great and tremendous that you dont even know where to start
everything is simply imcomplete
life has lost its meaning cos there is nothing more left to look forward to
its wrenching at your guts
and no matter how many buckets of tears you cry
they dont wash away anything
and nothing changes and its all still the same

but this isnt the end
the first step is the worse
but beyond that there will be light
life was always yours to live
for yourself.
not for anyone else. definitely not for him.
stay strong be strong.

i love you.